In the past I've been really lazy about learning Chinese, and various related topics too. I've decided to make this my next big thing, so I'm looking for someone who can teach, really teach! I don't mean just lead me through a book, nor do I mean "chat". I am extremely analytical and am learning because I am interested in how the language works. It's not for any immediate use. I'm in no hurry. I want to understand the concepts behind the words, so you must be prepared to answer a lot of questions.

You need to have a very high standard of written and spoken Chinese. I don't want to try and pretend I'm from Taipei, and I don't care about "survival Chinese." I want to speak and write like an educated foreigner, even if it takes many years. If you have a strong academic background and a passion for your language then maybe you can help me?

I don't *need* to speak Chinese in my daily life, but I have decided to make my home here so I want to develop a deeper understanding of everything around me. You should have a good understanding of the culture and history behind the words. I want to know traditional stories, history, philosophy and so on. I want to know more about modern Taiwanese values, the government system, and popular culture. If you know about Taiji or Dao-ism then that's even better. I also want to learn writing at the same time, and I want to learn it well. So if you can teach me some calligraphy that's great. 

You need to have good English, as I expect it will take me many years to reach a high enough level to have these conversations in Chinese. And you must also be familiar with hanyu pinyin.

Formal language classes will be somewhere in central Taipei, but I also want to visit temples, museums, etc. I work in the evenings and at weekends, so the classes must be during the daytimes. I'm pretty flexible about schedules.

Obviously it's difficult to find someone with this level of knowledge, so I have to be realistic. If I can find the perfect teacher then that's great, especially because I have a strong personality and really need someone who will "take charge" and ensure that I study effectively. The perfect teacher will be able to answer my questions and at the same time make sure I learn the basics. Don't let me get distracted! (I'm lazy and need to be pushed!)

If I can't find the perfect teacher then we can do it another way: maybe you are someone with some free time who wants to improve their English, learn how to teach Chinese to foreigners, and improve your own knowledge of culture and history. I'm a very experienced teacher, so I can show you what and how to teach, and can also advise you on how to use English to communicate more effectively. So experience is not so important, but you must have a very high standard of written and spoken Chinese.

If we do this then it has to be "professional," I've tried "language exchange" in the past and it was never successful because it became "hanging out" instead. This time the purpose is to learn something, not to make friends. I don't want to date, so it would be helpful if you're old, fat, ugly, and male too!

If you're interested then drop me a line ASAP. I'd like to meet up for a trial class, and then agree a schedule of 2-3 classes per week, for 2 hours each time.

As a teacher, I understand the value of your time and will pay according to your knowledge and experience.